69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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