This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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