HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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