when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she peed on how many people?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Who died my cat blue again?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
