It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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