theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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