Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
