Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize