one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
