PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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