I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Holy sore nipples Batman
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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