what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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