I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
