i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
