weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
