so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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