why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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