that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have tasted many bathrooms
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
