I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
