Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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