you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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