How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
