I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
