dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i think i have herpe
just one?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
