Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
