Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
