I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
