3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
