I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
