Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
