i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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