You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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