Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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