dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
