oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
