True but thats because hes a fetus.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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