I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
