just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
