What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
