I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
