I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
