They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wear drunk well.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
