Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
In America we eat man semen.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
