So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
