i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
