There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
