Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
