Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize