One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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