You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
