took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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