didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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