the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
