Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
