i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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