Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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