She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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