How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
