Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
