I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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