I think I died a long time ago.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
