is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize