when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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